Parenting

Parenting is about fashioning ourselves to become the person we wish our child to become. We cannot be affective parents when we do not do as we say. We must look to ourselves and pray that when we see our child mirroring us that it becomes a reflection honoring unto God. “Let us search and try our ways, and turn again to the Lord.” (Lam 4:40)

Are you angry? Your child is mad. Are you stressed? Your child is tense. Are you shouting? Your child is screaming. Are you unhappy? Your child is sad. Are you dishonest? Your child is lying. Are you neglectful? Your child is insecure. Are you emotional? Your child is unstable. Are you selfish? Your child is self-centered. Are you proud? Your child is arrogant. Are you wasteful? Your child is unthankful? Are you not understanding? Your child doesn’t care what you think. Do you keep a meek spirit? Your child is gentle. Do you give respect? Your child respects you. Do you show love? Your child is loved. (Romans 2:20-23 Luke 6:37-38)

To become a parent we become teachers of life. Everything we do is a lesson they learn. The look upon your face, the sound of your voice, the touch of your hand will say more then the words from your mouth. The atmosphere of your home, the doings of your hands, the path of your feet, the gestures of your body and the things that go unsaid will become more a reality to your child than any direct intent.

A teacher is by definition an instructor, an informer, one who communicates to another the knowledge of which he was before ignorant. Are we ignorant of what we require of our child? Then they lack the ability to obey our commands. Are we showing understanding for our child’s state? Then he may do as you require.

It’s said that if you ask your child to go clean his room and he responds “no” what would you do? Well, to most the answer would be spank him. To a parent who has guided themselves by self-examination we ask, “why would he answer so?” Have I asked him in a harsh tone? Did I ask him angrily? Is he sick? Is he hungry? Have I been neglecting him? Is he overwhelmed with the task? Am I embarrassing him in front of others by my manner or time of request? So then we approach our child in love and understanding and ask in a quiet and kind tone, “My son, why would you answer to mommy this way? You know it is wrong to talk to me so.”

Love and understanding gives our children listening ears, attentive eyes, kind words, submissive hearts and praise worthy ways. I’ve seen children far more broken by their mother’s gentle tone, long embrace and affectionate words than any anger or spanking could have ever accomplished. We become as much the “child” when we do not present to them the proper way, especially when we are correcting them.